2022/04/05

Picture yourself on a boat on a river...

PO: We need a bridge over the river right here?

Me: Why?

PO: Because the customer needs to get to the other side?

Me: Why can't they use the bridge half a mile up river?

PO: Because that'll take them on a half hour round trip! That's not very nice...

Me: Right... and er, how many people do we think will use this bridge?

PO: None. We're not actually expecting anyone to use it. Not for the first year anyway, but we need to have it for compliance reasons.

Me: Which are?

PO: Compliance reasons.

Me: and...

PO: Urgh,... Sally told Peter told Ravi told Mike told Sue told Priya told Vlad told Jean-claude told me that it was "important compliance reasons". And Sally is very busy and even more important...

Me: <sigh>... So it's not a big deal if that no-one has to walk for 30 minutes then.

PO: Well, someone might use it, and what if they're in a hurry?

Me: They should have planned ahead...

PO: You can't tell a customer to "plan ahead"!

Me: Yes, you can. You do it every time you go on a road trip, you just need to know to expect it. Anyway, how about we have a boat that can ferry people across?

PO: No, no, no! We've told you before. We don't like boats. They're expensive and can't carry many passengers.

Me: Not as expensive as bridges and you just told me we don't have any customers!

PO: Look Mr Grumpy, are you going to design a bridge or not?

Me: .... what's your budget?

PO: Haven't thought about that, but it needs to be ready a week on Tuesday... and who's that fool in the river?

Me: That'll be a customer who fell off the rope bridge we built up river...


Voyaging dwarves riding phantom eagles

It's been said before... the only two difficult things in computing are naming things and cache invalidation... or naming things and som...