2022/04/05

Picture yourself on a boat on a river...

PO: We need a bridge over the river right here?

Me: Why?

PO: Because the customer needs to get to the other side?

Me: Why can't they use the bridge half a mile up river?

PO: Because that'll take them on a half hour round trip! That's not very nice...

Me: Right... and er, how many people do we think will use this bridge?

PO: None. We're not actually expecting anyone to use it. Not for the first year anyway, but we need to have it for compliance reasons.

Me: Which are?

PO: Compliance reasons.

Me: and...

PO: Urgh,... Sally told Peter told Ravi told Mike told Sue told Priya told Vlad told Jean-claude told me that it was "important compliance reasons". And Sally is very busy and even more important...

Me: <sigh>... So it's not a big deal if that no-one has to walk for 30 minutes then.

PO: Well, someone might use it, and what if they're in a hurry?

Me: They should have planned ahead...

PO: You can't tell a customer to "plan ahead"!

Me: Yes, you can. You do it every time you go on a road trip, you just need to know to expect it. Anyway, how about we have a boat that can ferry people across?

PO: No, no, no! We've told you before. We don't like boats. They're expensive and can't carry many passengers.

Me: Not as expensive as bridges and you just told me we don't have any customers!

PO: Look Mr Grumpy, are you going to design a bridge or not?

Me: .... what's your budget?

PO: Haven't thought about that, but it needs to be ready a week on Tuesday... and who's that fool in the river?

Me: That'll be a customer who fell off the rope bridge we built up river...


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